Stop and Think

Please let me take you out of the darkness and into the light Lullaby by Nickelback
Those people. You know, the ones you look down on because they do drugs. They drink. They fuck anyone who comes to them.
Those people. You know, the ones you look down on because they don't talk. They're not social. They look fearful of everything.
Those people. You know, the ones you look down on because they don't trust anyone. That you can't trust. That are granted no trust.
Those people. You know, the ones you look down on for their actions. Their scars. Their deaths.
They may not have made the best decisions. But look into their pasts' and most likely you'll find a world of hurt, a reason they have for making horrible decisions. Betrayal, denial, hurt. You're there, laughing about how you're going to commit suicide because you're having a bad hair day, how you saw this team get raped by this other team at the stadium, how gay you're new mansion is. You dis them, ignore them, bully them.
Stop. There. Get to know them, if you can. If they're able to trust you enough to let you peel off the mask they've worn for so long, you're lucky as all hell. And you better believe them, no matter how horrifying it may seem. Don't betray them, like all the rest. Don't deny them, like all the rest. Don't hurt them. Like all the rest. Be different, unique, and help them in any way you can. This may not mean tell an adult, get them into therapy. It may mean be a good friend. It may be to smile at them sadly, listen quietly as they tell you their story. As they vent.
Stop. There. Don't joke about suicide. Rape. Cutting. Some people have been through this. These are trauma triggers. Don't use gay in a derogatory tone. Some people are gay. Some gays are happy. Some get shit from peers. Some get disowned. Some get killed. Don't complain because you don't have the newest iPhone. Because some of us are struggling to get by. You have a roof over your head. You have food and water. And usable oxygen. 
Stop. There. Think before you speak. Before you act. You have a brain, use it while you can. Use it all you can. Because some people can't. Don't use retard. It means slow. They may not think the same as you, but that doesn't make them "slow" or "stupid". They're best friends who may not have friends. They may not comprehend what you're saying, at least not externally, but I sure as hell do, and I don't think this makes you cool. 

Think before you speak. Be decent. Don't look down on anyone. Instead, understand them. Help them if you can. Realize that you have it better than a lot of people. 
My paternal grandmother once put out a cigarette on my arm. This is the best memory I have of her. I have not made horrible decisions, I have used this to make me stronger. But it haunts me. And yet, I'm not complaining. I have a roof over my head (for the moment), food in my mouth, clean water and air, use of all my limbs and organs. I'm healthy. I'm getting an education. I have it so great right now, even if I do complain and not always admit it to myself. Even if I do cry for no apparent reason. Even if I do get moody as all hell. 

I have people who love me. I have a family, where all abuse has been cut out, where mental disabilities are being well handled. I have necessities. I have a few close friends, a few not-so-close friends, and an amazing girlfriend. A lot of my friends are people whose lives haven't been the best. Whose lives still aren't the best. I may not be social. I may not have a prada bag. I may not even have a home, come June 11th, but I am thankful for what I do have. And while I may wish for more, I know there are people out there who would die to have my life. Ironic wording.

I even have a computer. My life is amazing.

So please, to you human beings out there who don't think before opening your mouth or acting, for those who judge without knowing anything about people, stop. I beg of you. There is always something. A reason. 

Hypnotize

How the hell did you ever pick me? Honestly, I could sing you a song, but I don't think words can express your beauty If I'm James Dean, Then You're Audrey Hepburn-Sleeping With Sirens
The title or whatever it's called on here is just because I was too lazy to think of one, so I just put the title of the song I'm currently listening to(Hypnotize-SOAD)
I'm so sore. I had a soccer game yesterday, first of the tournament, and we actually won thanks to mein liebe. The first game we've won the entire season. The entire team was fucking ecstatic.
So, around eight, I had Lauren pick me up and we (her, her family, and I) went to Celebrate Fairfax. Which was freaking amazing. Mostly because I was with the girl I've liked practically since I met her. There were fireworks after it got dark, and if you know me, you know I have a weird obsession with colorful explosions. Anyway, the entire night was the best thing ever, and when I say the entire night, I mean the entire night. I got home at one in the morning. I got sent straight to bed, which I probably would've done anyway, considering today's planned events.
I had to wake up at eleven. Reason: Travel tryouts from one to two thirty. I got there after drinking a thing of coffee to wake me up and found that I knew four of the fifteen girls. None of which liked me because I don't conform to society. I was the only one who'd never tried out before, and one of two that haven't played on school teams. So I was the odd one out. I was also the worst on the field in my opinion. I've pretty much excepted that I probably won't make the team, but whatever. Anyway, two thirty came and I got back in the car, tired and sweaty and smelling like soccer, and we drove to Haymarket for part two of the tournament games. Yeah, hour and a half tryouts straight to a game.
I had another coffee to try to make me a little hyper, but it didn't work too well. I was too tired and ended up screwing up a lot. I played as well as I could, but I felt like I was gonna crash.
But I'm not sure being at my best would've made much of a difference. Most of the team had come deciding they didn't really want to play. So we ended up losing 3-0 because five to eight out of twenty-ish players had to do all of the work.
Season- Goals for: 2; goals against: who even knows. Games won: exactly one; games lost: most of them. But even though we only made 2 goals and won one game, we still wound up with second place trophy. Which is hilariously sad.
Over all, my weekend was pretty awesome. Mostly because of the amount of time I spent with mein liebe.
Oh, in case it wasn't obvious, the female mentioned in "Luck, help me out" actually said yes. Which made me extremely fucking happy. I had a spazz explosion when that happened. I honestly thought she'd say otherwise. Holding her hand makes me so much happier than is probably healthy, lol. Seriously though, I don't think she understands how she makes me feel. (Yeah, I'm fifteen, so what?)

Also, good luck on your final, Eris mommy. I have confidence in you. I can tell you you'll do a lot better than I will. -.-

Deanna, here's your shout out. Calm yo tits! lol. We needa hang out. I haven't seen you in forevers.

Luck, help me out here.

Want to put my tender heart in a blender, watch it spin around to a beautiful oblivion Inside Out by Eve 6
I've also been listening to this on repeat Daughters Of Darkness by Halestorm
And Phantomrider by Tokio Hotel, but I think I've posted a link to that in previous blog things.

Gathering up the balls to ask a certain newly single female out... Realizing she's probably gonna say no or have some excuse...
Also, she's *newly* single and has been having a shit day, so I don't wanna put that on her on top of everything else...
Bahh. I got spanish to do, so I'm gonna leave this post here. Wish me luck people.