Everyone's a passenger tonight. Just another accident on the freeway we call life. Surrender The Night (Belongs to My Chemical Romance in all their amazingness, even though I no longer respect Mikey Way)
So I came on here because I was bored and going through my bookmarks. I know that virtually no one looks at these, even the three friends that are following or watching or whatever it's called on here, so I really don't know why I'm writing. Well, typing.
Anyway, I went through some of my older posts. Wow. I've grown so much since last time I posted.
So much has happened since then, but nothing really that significant has occurred that would cause me to mature.
I'm still scatter-brained, but I cuss less, procrastinate less and am just a little less of a spazz. I still say "so" too much, still freak out over eyes, Hetalia, and other things mentioned in this, still wear my Frankie vest and mix-matched Nike 6.0s everywhere, but still.
I've found new bands, but still listen to the old ones. I've made new friends, and miss my old ones so much it hurts sometimes. I still keep in touch with (most of) them.
I dated a dick, he broke up with me, we got back together, I broke up with him, and am currently with my best friend. Although, I'm not sure how long this is going to last. We're just too similar and our (scarce) differences are huge. Like, for instance, while I no longer have any respect for Mikey Way after what he put his (ex?)wife through, he's still her role model. I'm not sure that addressing this on the internet is the best idea, but I just need to let it all out, and if I told my most trusted, one would try to get me back, the others would be disappointed in me.
I knew I should've let it sit for a while to make sure my feelings were strong enough to last before admitting anything to anyone. And I wanna say, Cathy, you were right. It probably won't last any more than two months. I need to break up with her, but 1.) it's so close to Valentine's Day and she's all excited and talking about how she hopes I like what she got me, and 2.) I'm afraid I'm either going to cause her emotional distress or lose her as a friend if I break up with her. She already got so much crap from her mom about the fact that she's bi.
Hormones suck. But most of you have probably already figured that out.
I got a deviantArt where I'm even more invisible than I am on here, but I post bits of fluff and some poems I've written. I bet I would get more views if I put up my better work instead of stuff I come up with in five minutes because I feel like I need to do something.
I'm so paranoid that someone's going to steal my work even though there's copyright laws, nobody looks at my work, and it sucks anyway. Does the contraction of there is have an apostrophe? God, my grammar is horrible.
Since the beginning of high school, I have started three new stories. I need to finish one... Just so I can say I finished a novel. I've finished short stories and poems and such, but that's not so huge.
Another thing that has happened is that I missed a *lot* of school. This caused me to get an overall B in Geometry for second quarter (B+ for semester grade, kill me), I probably failed my last Geometry test(I didn't even answer 20 points worth of questions), and a 91% on my last history test. I think that's the worst I've done on a history test this year. I also got an overall B+ for gym second quarter, but that's because I completely forgot to in a fitness log, and this dude prevented me from participating in volleyball(but it wasn't that bad, because I have no hand-eye coordination anyway).
Why did I miss all this school? Blackouts. Every time I stand out I get dizzy and my vision starts, and sometimes completely, blacks out. And there have been times where I've just been sitting there and the world suddenly tilts. So I had a doctors appointment. She checked my blood pressure. Nothing. She went over my last blood check for the whole Spondalytic arthritis(yes, I'm a fifteen year old with arthritis) medication. Nothing. So she sent me to a neurologist. Neurologist did some tests on me, sent me to an ENT and told me to get an MRI. Got an MRI, brain normal (haha, funny joke). ENT did several different tests on me over two appointments, and there is something seriously wrong with my right ear. Apparently they don't know how nobody, myself included, noticed. So I have to have a CT scan done. If there's nothing wrong with that, they're going to assume I have menire and I will have to give up my Flaming Hot Cheetos and soda, and most anything else with a significant/any amount of sodium. I dunno what will determine between giving up all sodium, or just drastically reducing my sodium intake. Either way, I'm not too happy.
Watched Legion of the Black today. I enjoyed it. It was unlike anything I've ever seen. But the ending, in my opinion, was a bit weak. Don't get me wrong, I love In The End, but I just don't feel like it did Eve Black or whatever they named her justice... Plus I have a friend who has schizophrenia and siblings who have mental disabilities, so the whole psychiatric scene thing hit really hard.
I'm really tired and quite possibly sick, so I'm going to go pass out now. And by pass out, I mean sleep, not literally pass out. Did that once. Not fun. Anyway, adios, güten nacht, hasta-la-pasta and all that jazz. If anybody managed/bothered to read this whole thing, I owe you a cookie.
Also, I realize I complain so much for someone living in a first world county. Even though my family is considered poor, I realize I have it so much better than a lot of people in this world, and I've been meaning to mention this in some of my other posts, but I got so caught up in my discomforts to address those dying of hunger right now, those who don't have clean drinking water or houses or *anything*. I try to help. I sign petitions from freaking everywhere, and I really do try the best I can to help, but I am just one person. I encourage all of you to sign petitions, if nothing else, for causes you find important.
Addition(3-30-13): Just came back on here because one of my friends asked me when I'd been, lol. The part I highlighted I was considering taking out, but it just goes to show that feelings change. She actually broke up with me but that didn't last long. We got back together in a matter of days and I'm really happy with her. Her mom also pulled a fast one and told her on the 2nd to last day before Spring Break that their "vacation" to New York wasn't actually a vacation, but she was moving her back, and we all flipped out, and then at the last minute, her mom changed her mind. I swear, sometimes I just want to knock some sense into this chick. Ug.
