Saturday, March 30, 2013

My Chemical Romance

So long and good night Helena-My Chemical Romance
Where do I start? I've been in love with MCR for three years. Yes, I know, Oh wow, three years, you must think you're so special. No. I know it's not that long at all. Three years out of the twelve they've been around. But I am a genuine fan. I'm not a fangirl, spazzing about how hot they are (okay, well maybe I have my moments, and maybe I love the idea of Frerard, but that's beside the point), I fell in love with them for their music. I came into this scene during the Killjoy era. Yes, my first song was NaNaNa(NaNaNaNaNaNa), but from there, I went toWelcome To The Black Parade. Yes, again I know You went from a popular song, to an even more well-known one! But from there, I actually went to Skylines And Turnstiles (oh wow, my Pandora just started playing the live version of I'm Not Okay (I'm Promise), the Life On The Murder Scene version) and worked my way from there. I went through the entire You Gave Me Your Bullets, I Gave You My Love album, then Three Cheers For Sweet Revenge, and The Black Parade. I failed, though, to go through the entire Danger Days: The True Lives Of The Fabulous Killjoys album until I got my first (sad) iPod (which I still have, it's a shuffle and it's slowly dying). When I first heard S/C/A/R/E/C/R/O/W I didn't really like it, but as I grew used to it, I began to love it as much as all of the other songs. That was the only instance where I haven't liked one of their songs. I had also found songs not yet recorded, such as Kiss The Ring and The World Is Ugly. I loved them and was hoping they'd be released, but was hearing rumors that Frank Iero said that when The World Is Ugly was released as a studio version, it meant the band would be breaking up. So when they announced Conventional Weapons, I was ecstatic until I learned The World Is Ugly was on it. But someone, I don't remember if it was on the site or not, confirmed that they weren't breaking up.
They lied. Maybe they thought they weren't breaking up, but on Friday, March 22, 2013 they announced the breakup of the band.
I won't lie, my heart broke. It shattered. I actually cried, and those of you who know me, know that doesn't happen often. I realize they all have families(well, not Michael, but... you know that whole shebang by now, I hope) and that they have their reasons. I respect them, and I won't beg them to come back. If they read this (haha, like *that's* gonna happen), just know that I love you with all of my heart, and MCR will never 'die', it will always live on in the hearts of fans. I'm not outraged, but I am sad. Yes, all great things have to come to an end, but I must admit, I didn't think it would happen just yet. It hit me like a smack in the face.
My Chemical Romance, and I know this is said a lot, but it's because it's true, MCR saved my life. I was severely depressed in summer after my seventh grade year. My Chemical Romance and a couple of other bands were pulling me through. Then, for my birthday, my aunt and uncle got me tickets and took me to see them live. Granted, I was on the lawn, so I couldn't quite see anything but a red dot that happened to be Gerard's hair. When I got home, I was so happy. And for awhile, I was living on the thought of my next concert. After a couple of months, once I was back at school with my friends and I had education to keep my mind off of what had been the whole reason for my depression, it just... disappeared. It comes back every once in a while, but not as bad as it was. I started living for me and for those who love me again. But I still held MCR close to my heart. Now I know there's a very slim-to-none possibility that I will ever see another MCR concert, but I'm glad to have had the chance to at least gone to one.
I remember when I found out about Miles. I had the hugest spazz. My mom walked in on me and thought I was having a seizure or something. I was so happy for Frank and Jamia. I sat there and wondered how Cherry and Lily would react to him, if they would interact like my family. Honestly, I kinda hope they don't, 'cause my family is prone to large-scale fights. I felt a bit sorry for him, I mean, two older sisters... But all families have their ups and downs, so I'm sure they'll fight and make up and love each other like I love my siblings, even if they do annoy me quite a bit.
I remember the point in time where I couldn't listen to anything but My Chemical Romance, You Know What They Do To Guys Like Us In Prison in particular. I sat there and messed around on my violin, trying to play bits and pieces of it. I even, and I'm kind of ashamed to admit this, choreographed my own little awkward white girl dance to it. That was about the same time where I'd saved up a lot of money and brought a My Chem shirt for every day of the week (excluding weekends) and only wore my MCR merch and the occasional soccer outfit when I'd neglected to do my laundry.
I am currently saving up for CD copies of the Bullets, Revenge, and Killjoys albums, and Conventional Weapon merch. I'm hoping that though they've broken up, their merch site, actually, their site in general, will stay up and intact.
I remember celebrating their birthdays, as stupid as that may seem. They are my heroes, even Mikey. I don't know what I would've done without them. I suppose it's possible I would've found another band to pull me through, but my mom listens to country, so that's what I was listening to (I still listen to it), and I'm not there were any songs out at the time in country that could've pulled me through.
My Chemical Romance is actually the band that's made me well-rounded in my knowledge of music. Before I knew of them, all I was listening to was country and an occasional "golden oldie" (I don't get why they're called old. Why do people slap dates on music? I'm sorry, but since when does music have an expiration date?). When I found them, it opened my eyes. At first, I just looked for bands similar to their Killjoy era stuff, but then I got into heavier stuff, and am now into just about every type of rock out there (including symphonic metal) and alternative, as well as pop (only a few songs, a lot of the music in the pop genre these days doesn't have any meaning to it), rap(again, only a few songs), "golden oldies", not-so-golden-oldies, and I'm even into stuff in different languages. I listen to a lot of German music, KPOP (I'm more into JYP than the other company things), and Japanese rock and such. I actually listen to a little bit of just about everything(well, the english and german everything).
My family includes two turtles. I named both of them. The first one we got around Halloween, so it ended up with the name Frank, and the second one we found a few days after I found out about Miles, and when we found him, he was still a baby. Like, a baby baby. He was ity-bity. So of course he ended up with the name Miles.
I remember when I heard the news about Mike Pedicone. I can't begin to describe how infuriated I was.
I remember one day, after lunch, I walked into my eighth grade english teacher's room, and he had Welcome To The Black Parade playing. Everybody else was kinda sitting around, like "what is this?", but me and my acquaintance/friend(we weren't close friends, so... yeah, mostly I knew her through my friend Eva) began singing it. Well, she began singing it. I had a slight spazz. And by slight, I mean I was running around and screaming the lyrics. I may've gotten into a bit of trouble... o.O Whoops...
I've spazzed to each and every one of my friends, and gotten a good percentage of them to enjoy and listen to MCR. The high school that I'm in currently is full of asians (which I kind of love, lol), and really posh white people, so the majority of people listen to either country or pop. There's a small portion of people that listen to rap, and an even smaller portion of people who listen to rock and such. Other than myself, I have met two people that knew of MCR before they met me. I believe I've gotten my friend Vasudha into them, but there's like nobody who knows of them. Which I find sad.
I remember, back in middle school (lol, like it was that long ago), me and a couple of friends and people I didn't know too well, (like Gloria) went around on MCR day and stuck pictures of the band members and lyrics, I even wrote a poem about them and stuck them up all around the school. Of course, after every class the school admin and such had gone around and taken them down, but we'd all spent the previous class expecting that and making new things to put up.
I remember in eighth grade I saw a sevie in the hallway with an MCR shirt, and even though I didn't know them in the slightest, I ran up and hugged him, complimented him of his shirt, and walked away. The look on his face was priceless. He was so confused, and I think I may've scared him.
I remember the day when I caught my mom humming Teenagers to herself. And when she found Desolation Row on the Chimes Of Freedom CD and decided she actually liked it. I can't count how many times we've been yelled at by neighbors for entering the garage blaring that, how many times she was speeding and I didn't care because I was too busy headbanging to it blaring, how many times she turned that up as loud as it would go during half-time at my soccer games. She's also used it call me when she pulled up to pick me up from school, or from soccer practice, or over the summer from the pool or other places I'd gone with my friends.


I realize now this post is excruciatingly long, and most of you (haha, like anyone read this) probably don't care about half of what I've written. I also realize these aren't crazy or super exciting memories. The truth is, I don't have too many of those types of memories. But I have so many small, fond memories of My Chemical Romance, a wonderful band that has helped many through hard times, and provided great music for anyone who cared to listen.
And now it is time to say so long and good night as their years of being amazing come to a close. No band will ever take their place, not in the hearts of their genuine fans at least, and they will always be loved, until the end of everything.
I hope they have wonderful lives lived to the fullest with their families, doing whatever they want to do. I hope they grow old and happy together, and never forget the good times they had, the bad times they had, and the fans that they'll always have.
You'll never know how much I love you, how much love all of your fans send toward you. I just hope you know, that whatever happens, and through everything, there are many, many people who love all of you guys to the point of explosions.
The future is bulletproof, the aftermath is secondary, we love you so much, and you will be remembered always.
The World Is Ugly Always and forever a fan. So long and good night, My Chemical Romance.

2 comments:

  1. Hey, it's me, the anonymous kid. We're the same age. I'm not really the type who talks about things and what I'm going through is not really that bad as it seems. Your childhood experience is worse than mine.I did not experience any suffering like yours. I like your story. From now on, I'll keep in touch of your blogs. By the way, I'm from the Philippines and I love MCR.

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  2. I know how it feels. I don't really tell everyone everything, and I haven't really told anyone anything until recently. But everybody feels pain on a different level, and just because one person had a worse experience than another doesn't mean they suffered more.
    But yeah. Thanks. It kinda sucks that they broke up. I have my theories about why, and if I'm right, then there is a possibility that they'll come back, but for now I'm just not going to get my hopes up.

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